i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
