final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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