I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
