I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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