oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
