Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
