i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
