I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
