My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
