i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
