Whod you bang
Jerry, you need to find god
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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