dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
