whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
