i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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