Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
