We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
