yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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