do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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