If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
