I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
