I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
