OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
