i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
