I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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