In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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