Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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