His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
