Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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