we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
