dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
