Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
