This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
