Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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