tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
