The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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