I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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