You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
