pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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