when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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