I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
