I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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