well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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