I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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