Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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