just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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