so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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