Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize
