Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
