so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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