My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
