That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize