Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
