He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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