how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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