You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Randomize
